a new scrapbook

Started a new journal for when my parents are visiting me. They haven't been to Kentucky to see me in the past three years. I've went to Alabama to see them but they are finally come here. 

In the front there is an envelope with a card and I wrote a note. I wrote why I am keeping this journal/scrapbook. My memory loss is not getting any better. So the more I cN write down and save the better. It will be all I have when I'm older. I don't expect myself to be able to login to my phone or computer. I will want these scrapbooks.

I plan on using this as a scrapbook/junk journal for anytime they come here or we visit them. So I will be collecting receipts and restaurant stuff. Hopefully napkins with logos. That type of thing. Paper menus if they are available. Any kind of bag or anything really. And I will write out about the day and use stickers and magazine clippings and Washi tape and scrapbook paper. It's gonna be a scrapbook with "junk" in it. I am incredibly excited. I have already gotten out my big purse I love to have space to collect things when we are out doing stuff all day for two days.

Anyways just wanted to share this with someone. Anyone. I don't care. I am so excited.

I have a new computer

 I have a new laptop. a chromebook. the keyboard is more spread out and I'm having to learn to type on it but I think it will be good for me. I wanna get back into blogging especially since I am feeling better.

my doctor adjusted my antidepressant after talking to me thoroughly and we decided it would be a good idea to adjust it and/or try a new one. doubling the dose of what I was already on seem to be working so I am doing that and I feel so much better. if it stops working we will try something new. she doesn't expect it to work for very long because I have been taking the same medicine for years and they usually stop working and you have to switch to a new medicine.

my parents are coming to Kentucky for the first time since we moved here and I am very excited but also freaking out about the apartment not being clean enough, BUT! I have done a lot of cleaning and I think it will be okay. they wont be here for long unless we run out of things to do. there isn't many places to sit because of lilly taking over a chair so haha it's kind of weird anyways.

they wanna stop and visit some places on their drive up so they will be very tired the night they get here, so we will be meeting them at a place to eat and they can go to bed and sleep in the next day. I hope they understand that they need to leave really early the day they leave or they wont get here in time to eat dinner with us. but if that happens it happens and they can get fast food.

we have planned the two full days they will be here are much as we can. there isn't much to do and not enough time to explore. or meet my husbands family. if they would even want to.

so I am working on the apartment

I have started art journaling and I love it and its my new favorite hobby

I am playing my Nintendo 3ds because I my Nintendo switch died and it won't turn on or work at all. we are gonna buy a used one later on. I don't see a reason to buy the new switch 2 there's no new games on it that I want and it would be crazy expensive for no reason.

I have restarted Pokemon games and my animal cross game for the 3ds and I am having a lot of fun doing that for now. I still have one more Pokemon game... well actually three that I could restart. but I wanna finish the one first. I'm gonna finish pokemon sun, I'm using a different starter pokemon than I usually do which has been a challenge and made the game quite different for me this time around,

after that I want to restart pokemon XY and pick a different pokemon than I would usually,  picking a different starter and trying new pokemon teams to play through is like a whole new game for me so I am really happy with that.

here is my art journal page from today

here is lilly mid lick lol she was taking a bath

here's beau in one of his favorite shirts!

animal crossing on the Nintendo 3ds shit hits hard

we tried for months to get this picture!!!!!

I planted wildflower seeds in my planter and they are blooming.

more wildflower seeds.

an art journal page I am very proud of.

JANUARY 11, 2025

 yay we made it!

I have given up my domain but i am still here at blogspot its the same interface for me just my omfgitstabitha dot com url doesn't work anymore

this year has been a mess.

i ended up in the ER two times. one time was a kidney stone. the other i had several bleed stomach and esophageal ulcers

both or our cars had to go to the mechanic this year. some more than once.

i changed doctors this year and was reassessed for all mental and behavioral problems and found out i had been living with undiagnosed and untreated ADHD for most of my life. Chances are I fall into the AuDHD category.

the medicine the have put me on has changed my life. 

my brain isnt over flowing with thoughts. and i'm struggling to pick whats important.

also executive dysfunction had taken over my life

all of these things

life did not have to be this hard.

all along. it didnt have to be.  i never knew.

but  i know now

and i am grateful.

so thus new year... i was diagnosed late fall 2024

2025 is going to be my year

i know everybody says that but for me? i think it might actually be my year. i have more answers than questions. i have tools. i have plans. 

blogger wont let me upload photos on the browser but i do have photos

we went to alabama for my family christmas and it was great. i wish i had spoke to more people or interacted with more people but i can't change the past.

i got anew phone and i am going to call my parents a lot more now

video calls too even if i look like a hobo

maybe we got back and snowed in after christmas. so now we are snowed in. its not that bad. the roads are fine. but my car has a flat tire and we need to get it sealed and fixed or the spare put on. we cant do any of that until the snow is gone so it will be a few days.

beau and lilly are still here. still my babies. beau is laying in my lap while i write this. he is my baby boy. he loves his momma so much. i feel blessed to have such a sweet caring quirky emotional little dog. i feel like he was meant to be with me. it was destiny. i am his forever momma. i am his mom.

i will see if the mobile blogger app will let me upload photos. i don't know what is wrong with this thing.

november 12, 2024

Its been a while and im sorry about that. Ive been in a huge funk. I cant quite figure out what needs to happen with my meds but whatever is going on now isnt it. 

I have an appointment with a new psych next week to hopefully get away from the horrible one im seeing now. 

The highlight of my days is that i get to be in band this December. Last year i couldn't because my family's Christmas was on the day of the concert. But this year its working out that i can do it. The music is kind of hard though so I'm gonna need to practice more than normal. 

Also im a bit sad that im not sitting next to any of my friends in rehearsal. Takes a lot of fun out of it but hahaha.... Maybe the director split us up because we talk too much. 😂

Beau is loving the colder weather because he gets to wear his fleece pajamas. He gets all warm and cozy. Wants to cuddle a bunch. 

Im supposed to get a new phone soon. It would have already happened but the damn store was closed last Sunday. My current phone is the absolute worst thing. 

I have a library book due later this week and i havent finished it. Im not sure if i want to recheck it or just write down what page im on and check it out later. Im reading the Bridgerton books so i can be into the show more so i have some time to read it before the next season. In the meantime i have two books to read. One of them is a collection of three smaller books. And the other is a book published by a friend i met online like...over 20 years ago? God its been a long time since we all met in 1999.

Im really upset about the election. I cant believe Americans voted for a criminal rapist fascist wanna be dictator. Like he has all the red flags. I am scared for women and the LGBTQ community. I am scared dor immigrants and minorities. I am mostly just damn scared.

We are on the brink of civil war at this point. I fear for the safety of my friends and family. 

The people who voted for trump most likely were brain washed by Fox news. Faux News. Its funny trump hates "fake news" but his support is fox and they are the creators of actual fake news.

Tonight i planned on staying awake and playing Stardew valley but i cant get my drive up so im updating here instead. 

Relearning to play Clarinet

 Let me tell you. I had so many people tell me i wouldn't be able to play clarinet after I got dentures. and they were wrong! if you want to play badly enough it can be done. I have made massive improvements and I am not even fully healed and i also don't have my final set of dentures yes I will get them in January.

I have started using my computer again lately and i am relearning to type. It feels so good to actually type on a key board.

I have recently switch to using a milk alternative. Almondmilk and it works well for me. I dont really care what it is as long as its not milk. My stomach does not like milk. At all.

It has gotten colder and we dressed Beau in his winter fleece pajamas and he is so happy and warm and cozy. I think it helps his anxiety. He feels like he is being hugged

he is a little cuddle bug and its precious.

on Oct 3rd it was his 2nd birthday. i baked him pumpkin cupcakes with peanut butter icing!!! he absolutely loved it!

i feel so much better lately

i just.. the new psych nurse is not agreeing with me on my medication and i am having to find a new doctor. I have gotten an appointment with the behavioral health faction of my primary care health provider and I am hopeful things can be done properly. i can't see the new new doctor until late november.

i am planning to vote in this election and i am voting for kamala and it's pissing off my friends and family. my husband understands and some of my friends do. but most people are very... into the orange man. he is not your savior and you are in a cult. laugh emoji goes here.

i am smiling

I put makeup on and did my hair! 

a REAL smile!

it was cold enough this morning to wear my new sweatpants. Love Bluey!

I CAN SMILE AGAIN!

 ok so i wanted to post a picture from my phone that's google photos synced and blogger isn't letting me. so weird.

I have a smile again!

I think the blogger app lets me post photos. something is wrong with the interface here for making posts.

I have not played clarinet yet but I am going to band on Sunday. I dont have to play just yet, the director said I could just sit in and look through the music. I can't properly try to play until I can use the fixodent to hold my dentures in place.

time lapse---- 

ok

i did just play without fixodent and i can play the lower register ok, but above the break is the problem.

I just. i have to prove everyone wrong. I have to be able to play. I HAVE TO.

and when I succeed I will speak out about playing with dentures and how it can be done because apparently everyone thinks its impossible! i might not be able to play like i used to but i can still play. i just did it! i know i can do it. all i need is time and healing and then fixodent.